The Email Thing
Where the princes live. We help you spot the fake ones before they spot your bank details.
Phishing awareness, email authentication, account security.
Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
We secure your Internet Things.
You know. The things. On the internet. Those ones. The email thing, the password things, the Wi-Fi thing your nephew set up in 2017 and nobody has touched since.
This website is a joke. The help is not. Internet Things Security is the comedic alter-ego of Maiar Solutions, a real information security consultancy for people who would rather do literally anything else than think about information security.
So what does IT actually stand for?
YouWhat does IT stand for?
UsInformation Technology.
YouOh. That's a bit boring.
UsAh, but you're asking the wrong question. Don't ask what IT stands for. Ask what it doesn't stand for.
You...What doesn't IT stand for?
UsCommitment. Audacity. Courage in the face of an email that says your package "could not be delivered."
YouThose aren't the letters I and T.
UsWe don't let the letters tell us what to do. That's the audacity part.
For the record, IT also doesn't stand for: Reusing Passwords, Clicking "Enable Macros," or Ignoring That Update For Eleven Months. We checked. Those are all too many letters anyway.
You should probably reach out to Maiar Solutions if...
Tick whatever applies. Nobody's watching. (This checklist runs entirely in your browser and goes nowhere. We'd be terrible security people otherwise.)
0 / 10 Internet Things loose
Zero? Either you're a security professional or you're fibbing a little. Either way, we should talk.
No judgment. Seriously. Every one of these is common, normal, and fixable. The whole point of Maiar Solutions is helping people who were never trained in this stuff — because nobody was. We just got there first and have been nervous ever since.
The Internet Things we secure
Technical names in small print, for the brave.
The Password Things
You have one. It does everything. It is tired. Let's give it some friends and a password manager to live in.
Password managers, multi-factor authentication, access reviews.
The Wi-Fi Thing
The blinking box in the closet that your whole business secretly depends on. We'll introduce you two properly.
Network security, router hardening, guest networks.
The Cloud Thing
It's not weather. It's someone else's computer. We make sure that someone is being responsible with your stuff.
Cloud & Microsoft 365 / Google Workspace configuration reviews.
The Printer Thing
No human being has ever fully understood a printer. We can't promise that. We can make sure it isn't quietly on the internet.
Device inventory, patching, the stuff nobody remembers is plugged in.
The Paperwork Thing
Compliance. Policies. The binder an auditor will one day ask for. We write it in English and help you actually follow it.
Security posture assessments, HIPAA & PCI gap analysis, fractional CISO.
Meet the Internet.
Shown actual size. Probably. Please do not unplug, shake, lick, or microwave it.
We are often asked to secure "the internet." We cannot do that — it belongs to everyone, and frankly it's a mess. What we can do is secure your bit of it: your accounts, your devices, your data, and the bit of your brain that hovers over links before clicking.
Frequently Asked Questions (Frantically)
Is this a real company?
This page is a joke. The company behind it is very real. Internet Things Security is a parody brand operated by Maiar Solutions LLC, an information security consultancy. Every button that says "get help" goes to maiarsolutions.com — same people, fewer jokes, more spreadsheets.
Will searching for Google on Google really break the internet?
No. We tested it. Once. Very carefully. With a spare internet nearby just in case.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Yes. It's step one of our methodology. Steps two through forty-seven are where we earn our fee.
I'm not "a computer person." Is that a problem?
That's the whole point. Maiar Solutions works with small businesses, practices, and people who don't have an IT department, and explains things without the jargon, the acronyms, or the sighing. Questions that feel "stupid" are the ones that usually find the real problems.
Why should I trust security people who bought a joke domain?
Because we told you it was a joke in the first paragraph. That's the standard you should hold everyone to: anyone dealing with your security should be upfront about who they are and where links go. Hover over any button on this page — it says exactly where it's taking you. Good habit. Keep it.
Is my sticky note password safe if I write it upside down?
We admire the creativity. No.
Okay, jokes over. Mostly.
If any of this landed a little too close to home, that's good news: it means you've found the problem, and that's the hard part. Maiar Solutions offers plain-English security help with no jargon and no judgment.
Pro tip: that email address is the real one. If you ever get an email "from us" asking for a password or a payment, it isn't from us. Nobody legitimate will ever ask for either over email.